Stand and Deliver

We were having dinner with three other couples from my church the other day. The hosts were a sweet young couple having their first baby. After dinner we played a pictionary type 'parlor game' that involved drawing a picture of a woman having a baby. I was very proud that my husbnd drew a picture of a woman giving birth standing upright! When I pointed out his drawing in contrast to everyone elses of a prone woman with legs elevated, the hostess asked, if that's the best way to give birth, why is it done lying down? When I said for careprovider convenience, I got dead silence. I dread conversations about birth anymore. I never say what people want to hear. It's all bad news. A couple of weeks ago when I asked a co-worker how his baby's birth went (I need to stop asking that question), he gleefully told me all about his wife's induction and how wonderful the whole thing was. I smiled politely and nodded. I can't speak nicely about birth, and I can't write nicely about it either.

Making Headway

I took my students to my blog, homebirth diaries. I wanted to give them a glimpse of what's inside my head. Still, it seems so intimate, as though I've told a secret. Today I lecture on lactation. I'll show the video of the circumcision again. We'll discuss both topics, again. I'll try to make headway, again. It's all become a lovely rhythm. My students inspire me. I hope I inspire them, too.

Writer's Poem for a New Year

I am here in my solitary little world, snow bound as it were, to my computer. The husband and children are asleep, as they always are when I write. I remind myself to enjoy the journey and each word placed on paper is part of the journey. Never mind the destination, it's the journey that counts. I want to write about birth in such a way as to seem wise and to cause a stir. That seems such a burden, so instead I tell myself to simply tell my stories. Write them down, one by one. String them together into a comprehensive whole. So that is what I do. Each day, I rise before the sun and tell my stories into my computer. Like a whispered prayer, my confidences are kept. My computer has become my god. My stories, my salvation.

Book Update

Just an update for longsuffering readers. I have taken this hiatus to complete my book proposal slated to go out in early January. As my book nears completion, I am busy securing an agent and publishing house. Thanks for your support.

MANA Musings

I am so glad I was able to attend MANA this year. It's always a privilege and I learn so much and meet old and new friends. Highlights include:

• Meeting Jenny Joseph and getting an introduction to her model for prenatal care. I would love to bring this model to KC- have some ideas in the works for my FIMR board. I've got to get her here.
• Participating in a white privilege game. Its where everyone stands in a line and takes steps forward or backward depending on their socio-economic and racial factors. I was at the tail end, by a mile. I can't wait to do this exercise with my nursing students. I found it quite powerful.
• Being near sea and mountains- as a child of the midwest I hardly ever get to do both at once. Taking my little rental car on a coastal tour was a wonderful experience.
• Vegetarian meals served at the Asilomar Resort were fabulous.
• Getting to room with Morningstar and Alison, a midwife from San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.
• Seeing Diane Paul of Sage Femme and witnessing more of her birth videos.
• Bird watching- saw some new ones I haven't seen before.
• Seeing so many midwives of color- there are more and more every year- good to see the next generation answering the call.
• Conference bookstore: purchased two new books, a purse, a pair of earrings, gestational wheels for my students and a host of souvenirs for my kids
• Favorite session: At your cervix: the ethics of how we teach pelvic exams
• Most transcendent session: Morningstars session on using storytelling to teach instinctual birth
• Most practical session: Using social media to promote better birth care
• Goal for next year's MANA: do a presentation from my newly published book

MANA Faces

Photos from Monterey Bay