Labor Repose

Labor Repose
LaborPayne during her 6th homebirth (9th baby) at age 44

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Fast Unbroken

My fast is yet unbroken. The homebirth mom from October did not consent for me to be present at her birth, and I do not stand witness to the births at the hospital where I supervise my students. As yet, it has been two years since I've seen a birth. The birth fast continues. I've also wrestled lately with thoughts of returning to midwifery. I won't go back to the CNM program. That leaves direct apprenticeship or a CPM program. I have a year to finish up my master's in education, then I'll think on it some more. A part of me still believes I can best serve women and midwifery, by not becoming one. I like my role as activist, and I can say and do things that midwives cannot. I hope to be able to affect positive changes in birthcare for women. I just haven't figured out the best way for me to do that. Yet.


mechiko said...

That's interesting, I don't think I've ever heard it put like that before.. and yet it does make a lot of sense. I just made the decision to apply to a nursing program rather than begin apprenticing for a CPM. It was hard, and I know that I do want to be a midwife - eventually - but I think it'll make my life easier (as a young single mother) to be an RN for a while first.

LaborPayne said...

Precious darling girl,
We must all find our own path. Some may disagree with you, but I find my nursing knowledge invaluable to my approach to birth- and an RN degree will give you financial stability- no small thing when you're a single mom. Some told me I'd be 'converted' in my thinking by an RN education, and become fear-based about birth- they were wrong. It only strengthened my resolve to change the system. Best wishes on your journey- the way is arduous, the destination what you make it.