Labor Repose

Labor Repose
LaborPayne during her 6th homebirth (9th baby) at age 44

Monday, June 22, 2009

Journey to the Holy Land

I spent a hot, muggy, but glorious weekend with Morningstar on the Holy Land in the company of about 20 other amazing women at the Summer Solstice Celebration. We had long discussions around the fire circle about when and how to say no, mothering young children, and taking ourselves out of our comfort zone. We had drumming and visioning sessions in the newly raised tipi. We pitched tents, gathered clay from the creek, fashioned talking sticks, and feasted on vegan foods as the children ran naked through a chigger infested meadow. It was as close to heaven as life gets. I received some great insights about honesty and knowing my own desires. I got to spend quality time with other women on a similar journey to my own, something I relish.

So now I'm back here in my daily life, preparing to be honest, and say no to some previous requests that before I would have just done- resentfully. I also hauled my ass out of bed and went to the gym this morning, knowing if there is going to be change in my life, I have to put in the work to make it happen. As for taking myself out of my comfort zone- I've done that too. I signed up for a 10 week figure drawing class. All the while remaining mindful of the things that block my productivity like fear, anxiety, and anger.

(I sure as hell better turn out to be one terrific person after all this.)

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